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How do you tell your OLDER sister to grow up without causing a family feud?

My older sister is a 33 year old mother of three, one of which is severely autistic, and it seems almost every weekend she gets into a bar fight. My mom doesn't help anything because she has never let this sister of mine fall and take responsibility. I would like to visit my family this summer but I want no part of my sister's soap operas.

Public Comments

1. wow, your sister is a grown woman and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, just hope for the best.
2. WOW! We have something in common! My brother doesn't get into bar fights but he isn't very responsible. He is improving. He has gotten a job and held it for over a year. But he married a woman who is irresponsible in every area besides work! And they have 3 girls, with one severly autistic! I think you should have a talk with her and with your mother. But I don't know the family dynamics so I don't know what to say about specifically on what to say and how to say it. Are there any other family members who can stand behind you? And I strongly suggest Al-Anon. It sure sounds like you sister is an alcoholic and your mother is enabling her. As you seen, that only prevents recovery. Go yourself and find some Al-Anon meeting houses that you might take your mother to. Here are some on-line places to discuss these issues with others. http://stepchat.com/ http://www.intherooms.com/ http://www.myswimmingplan.com/home.php http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42727&p=1 The last one is the one I am on at times. Please email me. I would love to chat with your personally, I have some experiences I don't want to share publicly.